What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
14.06.2025 05:43
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Ive learnt so much.
Put me off passion for life!!
Woman attacked by rabid cat in Lynchburg, health officials say - WSET
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But it wasn’t much.
What do people aim for when they meditate, and how do they do it properly?
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My life is so biszare .
What would it take for you to consider yourself a "Swiftie" like Flavor Flav?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
What is your review of The Office (U.S. TV series)?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
One cannot live in the past .
How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She was in good health!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He resisted the act ,that day.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Why do Muslims invade Western society?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I could never make a relationship work though!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me?
I was scared of men, in general
But, we were locked up after school.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
What is it like to be a Christian in Iran?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Why did i forgive my father ?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But ive been too sick for many years..
(And it was in our own minds.)
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
We all went to grammer schools
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I don,t even have a pension.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
This is soul school!.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
And i lived it daily.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I think the readers, may guess!
I waited trembling.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
My family never makes their pension either.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
So, i spoilt her more .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Who then, do I blame.?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
What did i know ?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Comes on , in middle age.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I was very sick at this time too.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I will be 64.
I have no regrets .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
It was going to be , some day.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She loved him until the end.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She wouldn,t have been !
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I was 9 years of age.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
So whats the point in blame.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He knew the spot.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
We were not on the streets..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
As i do to all so called friends.?
I write beautiful poetry .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I said to her
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
When she asked me how she looked .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I couldn’t, believe it.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She found it foreign!.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I was seconnd youngest,
All the time i was locked up.
Im still living with it.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Especially a lifetime of it.
She married twice! .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Would this be the day?